There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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