it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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