i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
