3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
