fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
