Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
