You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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