Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
