yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Enjoy the penises
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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