perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
