He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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