My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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