i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
