I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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