Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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