i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
