Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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