My entire life is one complicated drinking game
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
