we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
