How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
