I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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