apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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