I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Alive.
So much puke
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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