Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
