ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
