Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
