4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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