Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
