Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
