It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
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