dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just gift wrapped bread.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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