I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
