He asked to "fluff my boner.."
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You are a genius and a whore.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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