awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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