OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
