I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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