Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
