I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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