toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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