My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
