I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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