I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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