so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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