FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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