i can't believe i had my finger in that
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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