make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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