Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
