I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
