Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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