Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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