Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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