Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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