i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
