there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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