we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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