You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
