At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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