Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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