ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize