I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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