the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
