In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
