Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
