I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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