you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
